Next: In Brothel News

A giant brothel set to cater for tens of thousands of football fans at next year's World Cup in Germany is opening its doors in Berlin.

Built just yards from the main stadium, its owner believes the three-storey Artemis brothel will be a big hit with World Cup visitors.

Norman Jacob, lawyer for the private investor who wishes to remain anonymous, said: "Football and sex go together extremely well."

Prostitutes wanting to use the facility also have to pay £50 to "rent" a room there for three months. For that price they get free meals and access to the Artemis gym.

Prostitutes negotiate their own fees with clients who must also pay an entrance fee of £50 to enter the complex, which has rooms for more than 100 girls as well as a sauna and lap dancing bar.

OH, AND...

Business is booming at a German brothel next to a dole office which is offering a special discount rate for the unemployed.

The owners of Berlin's Schulz & Co brothel have introduced special rates of just £10 pounds for the country's growing number of jobless men.

Jobless Bernd Gramm, 48, said: "Before I could only have my fun once every couple of months, if that. But now I can go twice a month for a rock-bottom price, and the quality of the service still remains the same."

Gina, one of the brothel's employees, said: "Monday was always a slow day and we never used to have more than three clients. But this Monday we have already had twenty.

She added: "The dole office is right next door and people are literally bursting in. We give them the same service, just without the long talks that we usually do to get a client going. At that price we can't afford to waste that much time."

LAST BUT NOT LEAST...

The Danish government is under attack for paying for its disabled citizens to have sex with prostitutes.

The official 'Sex, irrespective of disability' campaign pays sex workers to provide sex once a month for disabled people.

The legal guidelines advise: "It could be of great importance that the carer speaks to the prostitute together with the person in their care, to help them express their wishes."
But opposition parties have attacked the regulations, claiming it is an immoral way of spending tax-payers' money.

Social-Democrat spokesperson Kristen Brosboel said: "We spend a large proportion of our taxes rescuing women from prostitution. But at the same time we officially encourage carers to help contact with prostitutes."

But Stig Langvad of the country's Disabled Association said the politicians critical of the plan are showing "double standards".

He said: "The disabled must have the same possibilities as other people. Politicians can debate whether prostitution should be allowed in general, instead of preventing only the disabled from having access to it."

Story filed: 11:15 Thursday 15th September 2005 -->

Beef ala cart

Medina, OH -

It might have been a perfect getaway. After all, who would suspect that a person with a purloined roast would flee in a stolen golf cart?

A Cleveland, Ohio, man told a judge he intended to drive the cart about 40 miles from Medina to his home in Cleveland. And it was working.

He even stopped for gas. But police searching for him as a suspect in the swiped meat caper nabbed him and the frozen roast.

He's pleaded guilty and has been released on bond until sentencing. He told the judge he'd been drinking the day of the heist and the alcohol didn't mix well with his psychiatric medication.

Sermons on your iPod

Vicars are putting sermons on the internet so parishioners can listen to them on their iPods.
Users subscribe to an internet service allowing them to download the sermons.

According to the Mirror Rev Shannon Ledbetter of St Mary's church, Knowsley, Merseyside said: "For the elderly and housebound this is fantastic, all you need to do is fix them up with an iPod and they're good to go.

"For the young also, there is so much information there, which can help to answer their questions about their faith."

Steve Evans, of Bridge Chapel Christian church in Liverpool, said: "Large numbers of new people are coming down and joining simply because of the downloads and podcasts.

"All our congregation has to do is subscribe to the service and every time they plug their mp3 player in, the updates will automatically be transferred."
However, in his first Christmas message Pope Benedict warned against technology, saying people risked ending up in "spiritual barrenness".

Where are you from?

How to Identify Where A Driver Is From
1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.

2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.

3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey.

4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston.

5. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in lap: Los Angeles.

6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.

7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy.

8. One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game: Seattle.

9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: Texas.

10. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia.

11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida.

Spread em! and more...

Arrrrg...

I'm not sure if I am disgusted by men/boys and women/girls with decent bodies fishing for compliments or the fact this is probably put together by some uncommonly large man in his mid-forties looking for some "material" to entertain his lonely evenings.

Click

Update those bookmarks -- Cletus Spears has launched his own website

Tue Dec 27, 2:27 PM ET article

Kevin Federline, aspiring rapper and husband of Britney Spears, has unveiled his own Web site.
Federline, whose new hip-hop album, "The Truth," is due out in 2006, appears to expect big things in the coming year.

The Web site begins with an introduction of Federline rapping, "Keep messin' with my family and you're through," played over various tabloid articles about the couple. (Spears has sued Us Weekly for $20 million, charging the celebrity magazine published a false story reporting that she and Federline had made a sex tape and were worried about its release.)

Eventually, the screen dissipates to announce: "Now that I have your full attention, never judge a book by its cover." This is followed by, "I'm coming ... 2006."
In a note on the Web site, Federline says he hopes "this will provide you with the opportunity to get to know who I really am."

The 27-year-old former backup dancer and Spears, who were married last year, have an infant son, Sean Preston, who was born in September.
Although there have been tabloid reports of strife, the 24-year-old pop singer plugs Federline's Web site in a posting on her Web site.

http://www.kevinfederline.com
http://www.britneyspears.com

2005 Foot-in-mouth Awards

By Evan Hansen Also by this reporter

Tech execs say the darndest things. And so do shuffling presidents, and disgraced scientists, and Wikipedia fakers. It's time to relive 2005's biggest spoken gaffes."Screw the nano."
-- Motorola CEO Ed Zander

Cell-phone makers hoping to break into the music business got little traction in 2005 in the face of Apple Computer's iPod dynasty. The shortcoming was made all the more glaring for Motorola, when its Rokr iTunes phone debuted alongside Apple's newest entry, the iPod nano. (Motorola later issued a press release saying Zander's statement was a "joke.")"I'm going to f***ing bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to f***ing kill Google."
-- Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, in statements attributed to him in court documents by former Microsoft engineer and recent Google hire Mark Lucovsky

The accusations flew fast and furiously in a high-stakes court battle between Microsoft and Google over alleged employee poaching. Drama aside, the case highlighted a tectonic power shift in the technology industry brought on by post-IPO Google."Walk this way, talk this wa-ay."
-- Intel chairman Craig Barrett

The most embarrassing executive antics of the year came early in 2005, as a tone-deaf, stiff white guy stepped up to the stage at the Consumer Electronics Show and joined Aerosmith front man Steven Tyler in a duet. Silicon.com has the video."Most people don't even know what a rootkit is, so why should they care about it?"
-- Thomas Hesse, president of Sony BMG's global digital business division

The music giant responds in an NPR interview to complaints that anti-copying technology on some of its CDs creates serious security vulnerabilities in computers."You're obviously from France."
-- Intel CEO Paul Ottelini

This zinger deflects criticism when a reporter with an accent asks why Intel is so far behind Advanced Micro Devices on a dual-core server chip. After the laughter subsides, AMD continues to assault Intel's leadership position."All research up until now has been conducted in strict observance of the government-set guidelines."
-- Korean stem-cell researcher Hwang Woo-suk

The cloning pioneer initially denies accusations that he broke ethical guidelines in conducting stem-cell research, but eventually admits he lied to protect co-workers. Later, he withdraws a groundbreaking research paper amid accusations of falsified data."I know what I don't know, and to this day I don't know technology and I don't know accounting and finance."
-- Bernie Ebbers, ex-CEO of WorldCom

At his $11 billion telco fraud trial, Ebbers tries to pin the debacle on ex-WorldCom CFO and state's witness Scott Sullivan. The jury is not convinced, and Ebbers is convicted of conspiracy, securities fraud and false regulatory filings on all counts. An appeal is pending."Lightweight, and crank it on, and you shuffle the shuffle."
-- President Bush

Brit Hume interviews the president about his iPod on Fox News, as recorded in a hilarious transcript published by The Washington Post."It was done as a joke that went horribly, horribly wrong."
-- Fake Wikipedia poster Brian Chase

A false post linking journalist John Seigenthaler Sr. with the Kennedy assassinations spilled over into public debate over the merits and failings of Wikipedia, a publicly maintained database of encyclopedia listings open to all comers. The controversy ends with an anticlimactic apology, but raises tough questions about the reliability of a new brand of participatory media, loosely dubbed "Web 2.0.""Mr. Negroponte has called it a $100 laptop -- I think a more realistic title should be 'the $100 gadget.'"
-- Intel chairman Craig Barrett

At a press conference in Sri Lanka, the head of the world's biggest chipmaker disses a plan by Nicholas Negroponte to give the world's poorest children affordable computers."(Telecoms) and the cable companies have made an investment, and for a Google or Yahoo or Vonage or anybody to expect to use these pipes (for) free is nuts!"
-- SBC Communications CEO Ed Whitacre

Intimations of a "two-tiered" internet emerge in this Q&A with Business Week. The frustrations come out near the end of a year that saw the telecom industry begin to shake off bankruptcies and fraud only to confront an inescapable paradigm shift in the shape of broadband.
Heard any good ones? If you have a favorite verbal blunder from 2005, please share it in the Rants & Raves area below.

Pan + Jesus = Full of Crap

Cooks at a restaurant in Jacksonville, Fla., claim they discovered the image of Jesus in a pan used to heat water just days before Christmas, according to a Local 6 News report. The image appeared on the bottom of the pan at The Stadium Club Restaurant on Beach and Southside Boulevard. The cooks were washing the pans when the spotted the Jesus image. A spokesman for the restaurant said they will no longer use the pan at the business.

Cool!

Try this out... CLICK

Double Dipping Goodness

Double-Mouthed Fish Pulled From Neb. Lake
Wed Dec 21, 5:21 PM ET

This fish didn't have a chance. A rainbow trout pulled out of Holmes Lake last weekend had double the chance to get hooked: It had two mouths.
Clarence Olberding, 57, wasn't just telling a fisherman's fib when he called over another angler to look at the two-mouthed trout. It weighed in at about a pound.

"I reached down and grabbed it to take the hook out, and that's when I noticed that the hook was in the upper mouth and there was another jaw protruding out below," said Olberding.
He said in his 40 years of fishing, he's never seen anything like it.
Don Gabelhouse, head of the fisheries division of the Nebraska Game and Parks Commission, said a two-mouthed fish was new to him, too.

"It's probably a genetic deformity," he said. "I don't think there's anything wrong with it."
The second mouth didn't appear to be functional, Olberding said. He has plans for the fish, which don't included mounting.

"I'm going to smoke it up and eat it," he said.
___
Information from: Lincoln Journal Star, http://www.journalstar.com

Once a vision of perfection, he is dead to me now.

Lucchino: We will miss him12/21/2005 5:11 PM ET
By Mike Petraglia / Special to MLB.comBOSTON --

On Christmas Eve 2004, the Red Sox gift-wrapped Jason Varitek in a four-year, $40 million dollar contract and put it under the tree for Red Sox fans.
The Red Sox were hoping for the same holiday magic to work with Johnny Damon this year, but Yankees owner George Steinbrenner acted the part of the Grinch and stole the present before
Boston could find its wrapping paper.

Red Sox president/CEO Larry Lucchino, flanked by co-general managers Ben Cherington and Jed Hoyer, explained Wednesday afternoon that they had hoped to be able to follow-up on their four-year, $40 million offer of Dec. 6 this week, but they never had the chance.
Instead, Damon agreed in principle to a four-year, $52 million deal with the Yankees late Tuesday night, putting a bit of a damper on the holiday mood at Fenway Park.

"I would acknowledge this is a setback in terms of our short-term plans, but keep the faith," Lucchino said when asked what he would tell disappointed Red Sox fans. "We will redeploy this money intelligently. We will balance our long-term plans with our short-term needs and find players who will play for this team -- center field, shortstop -- that the fans can be proud of."
As was the case with Varitek, Scott Boras represented Damon. Hoyer was the last Red Sox official to have formal dialogue with Boras before Damon made his move to pinstripes.

"My last conversation with [Boras] was at about 7 o'clock [Tuesday] night," Hoyer said. "Scott Boras called me a little before midnight [Tuesday] night to tell me that he had reached an agreement with the Yankees, which I had been notified of by the media. But he did notify me just before midnight."
Lucchino responded to suggestions made by Damon to WBZ-TV on Tuesday night that the Red Sox didn't pursue the outfielder aggressively.

"I think we made it very apparent to him and Scott Boras and his [representatives] that we were eager and hopeful to sign Johnny Damon, and we did that as recently as [Tuesday]. So, I don't think we shut the door in any way, shape or form."
Lucchino added: "I think it's fair to say that we left the door ajar for a subsequent formal offer. We wanted to sign Johnny Damon. We made a very strong and concerted effort to do so. We're disappointed."

The three Sox officials would not elaborate on the details of their discussions with Boras, but said they had informed him that they wanted to further discuss the deal and do so by Christmas Eve or move on.

"I think it happens with some frequency," Lucchino said in explaining Boston's strategy. "It was not for arbitrary reasons. It was because we had had an offer out there for several weeks and we needed to know. Christmastime is not an illogical time [when] baseball shuts down for a week or 10 days, as it always does, [and] we needed to have a sense whether you have a deal."

"There was a suggestion that we were eager to sit down and talk further and do that by the end of Christmas Eve," Lucchino added. "It was an invitation to further specific discussions in hopes of getting [a deal] done by Christmas Eve."

Ironically, the Yankees had implemented their own deadline, offering $12 million more than the Red Sox but telling Boras and Damon that they had to know by Tuesday's midnight non-tender deadline. Damon and Boras decided to take the money from New York.
Now the Red Sox have to go about the job of replacing their leadoff hitter of the past four seasons.

"There's more than one way to skin a cat," Cherington said. "The Red Sox have won in the past without a prototypical leadoff hitter. Other teams have won in the past without a prototypical leadoff hitter. The Red Sox are going to have a very good team in 2006. We don't know exactly what it's going to look like yet.

"I think it's fair to say Johnny's decision makes our offseason a bit more challenging, but we're still very well positioned to have a very good team in 2006 and somebody will be leading off. Whoever it is may not be the prototypical leadoff hitter, but we'll have a lineup that will score a lot of run, I can tell you that."
Lucchino admitted that Damon will be missed on and off the field.

"There was some value associated with that," said Lucchino, referring to Damon's marketability. "He was one of the more marketable players in baseball, and he was certainly very marketable and popular person up here for whatever combination of reasons, hair, style, looks, and personality, whatever. But at the end of the day, you do have to make a hard baseball decision about how much of your resources you need to invest in this particular player or person and for how long. The hardest part of the job that baseball operations has to do is ... balance the present with the future, balance short-term commitments, short-term needs versus long-term planning and long-term flexibility."

It will be up to Hoyer and Cherington to sort out the options before the club fields its 25-man team in April.

"I think we want to do the right thing instead of the quick thing," Hoyer said. "Of course, now we know Johnny won't be playing center field for us, so that hastens the process a little bit. But we're not going to rush out and do something quick. We're going to sit down and try to do the right thing."

Cherington, who pointed out that it's only December and not Opening Day, said a lot can happen in three-and-a-half months.
"We have a hole to fill and there are a lot of different ways to do it," he said.
This story was not subject to the approval of Major League Baseball or its clubs

The End of the World... Prepare yourself.

If Fox News Had Been Around Throughout History

Thanks Bryan Frasier... This is great!


CLICK HERE

Oh the Irony

Bush sends staff back to ethics class Memo: Staff should adhere to 'spirit' of all rules
Saturday, November 5, 2005; Posted: 5:50 p.m. EST )

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- With his chief political aide under investigation as part of a probe into the public unmasking of a CIA operative, President Bush is sending his staff back to school -- ethics school.
Bush is requiring his executive office staff to attend refresher courses on ethics and handling classified materials, according to a White House memo.

"The President has made clear his expectation that each member of his Executive Office of the President (EOP) staff adhere to the spirit as well as the letter of all rules governing ethical conduct for EOP staff," states the memo sent to Bush's staff.
Staff members with security clearances will attend mandatory sessions next week, and those without security clearances will attend mandatory sessions the following week.
The memo went to all EOP staff, which numbers about 3,000, White House spokesman Scott McClellan said.

The refresher course comes as Bush's top aide, Karl Rove, is under investigation and as Vice President Dick Cheney's former chief of staff, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, faces indictments in connection with the outing of a CIA operative.
Libby, who resigned October 28, pleaded not guilty Thursday to charges of perjury, obstruction of justice and making false statements.

Libby is accused of lying to a grand jury and FBI agents about where he first learned Valerie Plame's identity and what he later told reporters about her.
Plame is the wife of former diplomat Joseph Wilson, who had openly criticized the Bush administration.

Libby is not charged with deliberately disclosing the name of a covert agent, which is a federal offense.
Bush has declined to talk publicly about the investigation. On Friday, he deflected questions about Libby and Rove at the Summit of the Americas in Argentina.

ARTICLE

No 'Chicken Little' Just Man Offing Himself

A Times Square movie theater laid an egg at a showing of "Chicken Little" last night.
Adults and kids expecting to watch Disney's G-rated animated flick at the AMC Empire 25 theater on 42nd St. were instead presented with a foreign film that opened with a young man committing suicide.

"It's pandemonium," Joshua Gallo, 30, told the Daily News as he rushed out of the theater with his 5-year-old son and 1-year-old daughter. "The kids are crying. The mothers are screaming for the managers to stop the film."

Terrified children didn't know what to do as they watched a young boy hang himself from a tree at the 8:45 p.m. screening.

After five minutes, "Andrea," a Spanish drama opening today, was turned off and "Chicken Little" was played.

Patrons got a coupon for a free movie.

Hmmm....Gross

The Meatrix