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Oh the Irony

Bush sends staff back to ethics class Memo: Staff should adhere to 'spirit' of all rules
Saturday, November 5, 2005; Posted: 5:50 p.m. EST )

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- With his chief political aide under investigation as part of a probe into the public unmasking of a CIA operative, President Bush is sending his staff back to school -- ethics school.
Bush is requiring his executive office staff to attend refresher courses on ethics and handling classified materials, according to a White House memo.

"The President has made clear his expectation that each member of his Executive Office of the President (EOP) staff adhere to the spirit as well as the letter of all rules governing ethical conduct for EOP staff," states the memo sent to Bush's staff.
Staff members with security clearances will attend mandatory sessions next week, and those without security clearances will attend mandatory sessions the following week.
The memo went to all EOP staff, which numbers about 3,000, White House spokesman Scott McClellan said.

The refresher course comes as Bush's top aide, Karl Rove, is under investigation and as Vice President Dick Cheney's former chief of staff, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, faces indictments in connection with the outing of a CIA operative.
Libby, who resigned October 28, pleaded not guilty Thursday to charges of perjury, obstruction of justice and making false statements.

Libby is accused of lying to a grand jury and FBI agents about where he first learned Valerie Plame's identity and what he later told reporters about her.
Plame is the wife of former diplomat Joseph Wilson, who had openly criticized the Bush administration.

Libby is not charged with deliberately disclosing the name of a covert agent, which is a federal offense.
Bush has declined to talk publicly about the investigation. On Friday, he deflected questions about Libby and Rove at the Summit of the Americas in Argentina.

ARTICLE

No 'Chicken Little' Just Man Offing Himself

A Times Square movie theater laid an egg at a showing of "Chicken Little" last night.
Adults and kids expecting to watch Disney's G-rated animated flick at the AMC Empire 25 theater on 42nd St. were instead presented with a foreign film that opened with a young man committing suicide.

"It's pandemonium," Joshua Gallo, 30, told the Daily News as he rushed out of the theater with his 5-year-old son and 1-year-old daughter. "The kids are crying. The mothers are screaming for the managers to stop the film."

Terrified children didn't know what to do as they watched a young boy hang himself from a tree at the 8:45 p.m. screening.

After five minutes, "Andrea," a Spanish drama opening today, was turned off and "Chicken Little" was played.

Patrons got a coupon for a free movie.

Hmmm....Gross

The Meatrix

No Freakin' Joke

I totally feel the pain here. As a child we had snakes come up our toilet when we lived in Florida (A1A "Beachfront Avenue!!) It was a brutally terrifying experience for all bare asses in our home. I still peek down occasionally. You were a hero if you could go to the bathroom without looking... Not that we verified this information!


The youngster was lucky that his mother had come along to open and raise the toilet seat. The startled woman found a carnivorous teju, or tegus, a large black and yellow South American lizard, lurking there newspaper Bergensavisen reports.

"Not a nice experience," is the father's summary. He came running when he heard the sound of screaming from the family toilet.
The Akvariet (aquarium) in Bergen was called, and reptile expert Remi Andersen paid a house call. He confirmed that the animal in the apartment in the Nordnes district of Bergen was a 1.5 kilo (3.3 lb) teju.
'
The teju is capable of holding its breath for half an hour, which probably explains how it managed to navigate its way through the sewer and up into the family toilet. The family is lucky they looked, rather than sat, first.

"The chances are greater that the lizard would have taken a bite out of someone's 'ham', than that it wouldn't have," Akvariet director Kees Ekeli told Bergensavisen.
It is illegal to import or own such reptiles in Norway, but the Akvariet has been allowed to keep the beast.

http://http://www.aftenposten.no/english/local/article1148570.ece?service=print

Stick to the slots and leave the spray paint at home.

The mayor of Las Vegas said yesterday those who deface freeway areas with graffiti should have their thumbs cut off on television.

Mayor Oscar Goodman made the comments on the TV program "Nevada Newsmakers" in Reno, the Las Vegas Sun reported.

"In the old days in France, they had beheading of people who commit heinous crimes," Goodman explained.

"You know, we have a beautiful highway landscaping redevelopment in our downtown. We have desert tortoises and beautiful paintings of flora and fauna. These punks come along and deface it."

Added the mayor: "I'm saying maybe you put them on TV and cut off a thumb. That may be the right thing to do."
Goodman also suggested that whippings or canings should be brought back for children who get into trouble, the local paper reported.

"I also believe in a little bit of corporal punishment going back to the days of yore, where examples have to be shown," Goodman said. "I'm dead serious."

"Some of these (children) don't learn," he said. "You have got to teach them a lesson, and this is coming from a criminal defense lawyer," adding, "They would get a trial first."
Another panelist on the show, Howard Rosenberg, a member of the university Board of Regents, disagreed with Goodman's suggestion, saying the mayor should "use his head for something other than a hat rack."

Prancing, but no Pantsing

Canadian PressNov. 3, 2005

NANAIMO, B.C. - Two RCMP officers are recuperating from injuries they suffered in a struggle with a hysterical flashlight-wielding man wearing no pants.

The officers responded to a call near the Duke Point ferry terminal shortly after midnight Wednesday and attempted to arrest the 50-year-old resident of Ladysmith, also on Vancouver Island.

"He was running around with no pants on," said Nanaimo RCMP Const. Jack Eubank. "He had a flashlight and a jacket, but no pants." Eubank said police are investigating whether drugs were involved. "He was just kind of somewhere else," said Eubank.

Pepper spray and a Taser stun gun were used on the man, but without apparent effect. The officers and the man tumbled down a steep slope and a bystander joined the two constables to subdue the unruly suspect. One of the officers, a female constable, was taken to hospital with a suspected broken hand.

http://http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/1103nopants03-ON.html#

Scientists Find Fossils in Sexual Union

Now THAT'S Tantric....

LUCKNOW, India - This was no one-night stand. Scientists in India say they have discovered two fossils fused together in sexual union for 65 million years.

The findings were published in the October edition of the Indian journal "Current Science," which said it was the first time that sexual copulation had been discovered in a fossil state, according to the Press Trust of India news agency.

But voyeurs will need a microscope to view the eternal lovers.

The fossils are tiny swarm cells, a stage in the development of the fungus myxomycetes, also known as slime molds.

The cells reproduce by "fusing," Ranjeet Kar of the Birbal Sahni Institute of Palaeobotany in Lucknow reportedly told PTI. Once the cells fuse, long, threadlike appendages known as flagella, are lost, he said.

Finding the fossils in a fused position and with their flagella shed, is evidence that the two cells were having sex, Kar said.

"The sexual organs being delicate and the time of conjugation short lived, it is indeed rare to get this stage in the fossil state," the study said.

The cells were discovered in a 30-foot deep dry well in the state of Madhya Pradesh.

By Associated Press
Thu Nov 3, 8:03 AM